“Mostly bags of water!”

If,  like me, you are a Star Trek fan, that should bring to mind a certain episode from the original series where an alien uses it to hail Kirk and his away team. Spock clarifies for the confused team that indeed the human body is mostly a bag of water. Which is no doubt why any biker with half a brain cell should go for good quality safety gear to protect the fragile vessel known as their body!

If one more person says “Sorry mate I didn’t see ya”!!

Maybe I just have a better memory than most but I clearly recall at CBT hearing just how few seconds it takes to wear your skin and muscles down to the bone when sliding along tarmac, and I most definitely remember the photos, which were enough to give anyone nightmares, of what happens to ankles when you don’t wear protective foot gear 😦

As if that wasn’t bad enough I then followed up the personal horror show with a BikeSafe session at the Ace Cafe where the coppers had some truly stomach churning tales of what happens if you land on your face…in an open face helmet, or worse – if you haven’t done the helmet straps up!

It’s because of nightmarish scenes like this, and a beloved attachment to my bod just the way it is (ok maybe with thinner thighs :-)) that I have always worn safety gear, and as the mileage has increased, the bikes have got bigger, and the pay cheques have allowed, I’ve increased my investment in the quality of my gear.

This was tried and tested back in 2007 when  I ended up under my bike on the M1, sliding along at about 40mph – ouch. Yet apart from some deep muscle injuries (and let’s not discuss the psychological trauma that makes me instantly suspicious of any young man who’s obviously just developing his first chest hairs and is armed with a corsa ;-)) I survived without breaking anything and with my skin intact.

Without a doubt this was down to my kit from GLF Accessories: an Arai, a full sized Ricochet back protector, gloves, good leathers with excellent Hein Gericke’s Hiprotec armour in and Daytona motorcycling boots. If  I had not had that kit on I would have been looking at serious skin grafts to my arms, legs and back, not to mention foot injuries from the weight of a bike on my ankle dragging me down the motorway. Mind you judging from the condition of the helmet I think my foot would have been the least of my worries.

So fast forward to 2011 and I find myself in a close relationship with tarmac again – see my post The End of an Era! – and yet again good safety gear has come into play. In particular the helmet, armour in both trousers and jacket and of course that all important back protector. If any ladies out there are considering what kind of gear to buy you could do a lot worse than Held motorcycle gear 🙂

Now I didn’t buy that gear – and more importantly wear it, thinking I was going to take up flying lessons! I bought and used it JUST IN CASE I had the misfortune to need it. Yet there is a contingent out there – namely youngsters, who feel that the tracksuit of invincibility will protect them lol! Clearly these are the young people who think pics and facts about the realities of injuries are just achieved through special effects. Even worse, is the older brigade – what is it with bikers who feel the need to wear trainers, ordinary jeans and even worse – NO GLOVES!!! Maybe they are on really good terms with their mums. After all it’s my belief that only a mum will be willing to wipe the bum of a hairy-arsed biker (sorry obviously not the ladies!), for the better part of a year, whilst your hands heal from skin grafts 🙂

And let’s not forget the “you don’t need safety gear if you ride properly” set, whose logic is about as bright an idea as a chocolate teapot. That’s like saying you shouldn’t carry a brolly because you invite it to rain. For heavens sake – THIS IS ENGLAND! It always rains – just as there are always numptys who won’t see you and consequently you end up as roadkill!

Thankfully there are lots of people who do see the point of good gear. Take Treacle –  a distracted new dad, overwrought by the sounds of his newborn wailing in the back of the car, pulls a u-turn without checking and sends her into the dirt. Good boots, helmet and jacket saved her from serious injury. She said: “No one buys the gear expecting to have to rely on it, but sometimes it clearly makes a difference between serious injury and something you can walk away from. I wouldn’t say it makes you feel invulnerable but I definitely do not feel as safe if I go out and then find out that I’ve not got my back protector in my jacket!”

Wearing protective bike gear may not save you and your skin from parting company or broken bones – but it definitely improves the odds in your favour. Whether textile or leather, it makes sense that it all makes a difference. I would never seek to preach to anyone (no really I wouldn’t :-)) but I would ask the question “do you have a high pain threshold?” cos the nurse is gonna want to take a stiff brush to you to get that “gravel rash” out! Or how about “are you the  family breadwinner and can you afford to be off work with avoidable injuries?”

My lovely new jacket…but it did its job.

If you can answer truthfully that the risk is worth it then fair play to you and I wish you well. Personally since the paramedics cut off my new jacket THAT I’D ONLY WORN FOUR TIMES (no I will not get upset cos it was the right thing to do ;-)) I’m going shopping…..hmmm what’s the latest colour this season for my jacket…….

Ride safe

Lil Miss Bump 🙂

The end of an era!

Some girls, according to some boys, have a weird habit of needing to name inanimate objects! Well that may be the case but I defy anyone to say a motorbike is an inanimate object – and I know a fair few blokes who have plenty of names for their bikes …and I don’t just mean when the engines won’t start lol!

My baby, Buz, (yep just one Z) has had the funniest, most long suffering personality ever! Having purchased him with just four miles on the clock we racked up another 36,000 in the last four and a half years, sharing good times such as the jaunts to France, and bad times, such as getting through and over a divorce.

So it grieves me to say that Buz has rolled his last set of wheels after we were involved in an accident at the weekend.  I won’t go into details as it is a police/solicitor matter at present. Suffice to say that Buz got parked in  the side of a car and I went over the bike, the back of the car, about 14 ft through the air and kissed tarmac.

It may be ridiculous to feel this way about a so-called “inanimate” object, and I acknowledge that the feeling is nowhere near as deep as the loss I felt over the death of my friend’s child last month. However I feel a terrible sense of  sadness over his loss – mainly because it feels so needless and we had miles and years of fun ahead of us. So please excuse me but this is the end of an era for me.

Not a pretty sight, my FZ6s

Buz, so named due to the very pleasant vibrations he gave out at around 6,000 revs!, has always looked after me and along with my training has got me out of many sticky situations. This time was no different. As you can see from the picture he bore the brunt of the impact, rather than me, before apparently spinning and flipping.

As always I was in good quality safety gear and whilst I did sustain some injury it is quite clear that the damage would have been a lot worse without it.

Any accident that looks like that but leaves the rider with bodily bits attached, is a good one, and clearly Buz looked out for me to the last.

Many of my mates have laughed at my descriptions of him and insist he’s just bits of metal and rubber but I know better. I will always remember this bike for his funny little ways, for having a great big heart and for his humour in riding with one slightly weird owner on board 🙂

Biking may not have come easily to me – and it is something that I have always worked on (including my latest initiative which is Rospa training, and for which I am now extremely grateful) and I very much doubt that I shall stay off two wheels for long once I am healed properly.

But before I move on, once again apologies for my post but this does put it to bed for me. My thanks once again to my baby who gave it all he had, with style, pizzazz and a lot of laughter along the way 🙂  xxxxx

Buz, a little bike with a big heart and how I want to remember him


Ride safe

Lil Miss Bump

And the race is on!

Well the racing season has begun and kicked off with the MotoGP in Qatar at the weekend. Those who know me will recall that the last time I went to Brands Hatch in 2007  I fell asleep on the grass and missed the whole thing, such was my non-fascination with the sport lol!

This year I decided that I shall endeavour to keep up and pay attention so I can see what all the fuss is about. I dutifully sat down to watch the Qatar race – after the fifth lap I was distracted by the need to make a cup of tea…and then a jam tart got in the way…folllowed by a packet of crisps…and then I started washing dishes, and before I knew it I’d returned to find the race was in the 21st lap! Fortunately both the BBC and the sports channels were re-running the race repeatedly so I was able to settle down and watch it again – and this time  I made the tea before the race started 🙂

Casey Stoner, winner at Qatar

Casey Stoner, Dani Pedrosa and Jorge Lorenzo did make for interesting viewing – I found myself holding my breath a coupla times when they fought to overtake each other. I also winced here and there when the odd rider fell off!

But overall I have to admit I was not glued to my seat with fascination which seems a shame as the commentators sounded so excited about the whole thing 😦

Why is this  I wonder?  Throughout the interviews I found myself looking at the baby faces of the riders, trying to tot up the  significant sponsorship labels, interested to see who was wearing what manufacturer’s helmet, wondering which set of leathers would stand up to a significant tumble – and found my eyes kept flicking with distaste to the red boot/glove V white boot/glove that was Jorge Lorenzo (what a style-muppet!)

This was followed by wondering about the lighting bill for the track, speculating on the temperatures  in Qatar at this time of year, and finally what kind of holiday I might enjoy there.  In other words the finer arts of motorbike racing were clearly passing me by 🙂

So what happened to the girls? It did dawn on me that one doesn’t seem to hear about girls in top performing races. A quick poll of friends (ok a question on Facebook!) and the answers came flooding in from lack of true grit and physical strength, to the right mindset, finance, and of course that particular jewel – PMT was flaunted!

Jenny Tinmouth*

BUT I did get to hear about Jenny Tinmouth whom Splitlath Motorsport has signed as the first ever female British Superbike Racer. She will contest the 2011 MCE Insurance British Superbike Championship. According to their press release  she became the first female to ever win a British Supersport Cup race on her way to finishing an impressive third in the championship, set a new record of 119.945mph for the fastest lap by a female competitor at the famous Isle of Man TT event and won the final round of the Hottrax British Endurance Championship at Cadwell Park.

Pictured here, courtesy of her website, www.jennytinmouth.com Jenny is a motor mechanic who has worked hard to take her racing to new levels. Quite frankly I am in awe of her skills and her achievements and her ability to bounce back from accidents and broken bones. My admiration may have something to do with her, as a woman, forging her way in what has traditionally been a man’s world. Ok  – whilst she may not be comparable to our beloved Amelia Earhart or Madame CJ Walker, she is certainly flying the flag and doing it well 🙂

In the interests of fair play I am going to watch the racing – assuming it’s televised and I remember to do so. I’d like to see if I have the same reaction or if my interest is ratcheted up because of her achievements.

Jenny in action – one to watch*
Definitely a girl!*

And just to show that Jenny is far from being more bloke than girl, here’s a shot* that does her proud and shows she’s a girl with style. (She’s the one on the right!)

Danny “just a hint of ginge” Imberg

So why do people race anyway? I asked racer Danny Imberg (he’s the one on the left! 🙂 ) and he had several reasons – all of them very manly  such as “Competition”.

Danny tells me that racing is in the blood and he takes after his old man. He also says: “The danger is equal to the thrill, and when you are out there it is just you – it’s not a pure team sport like football.”

Well when he puts it like that I can see the attraction – sometimes feeling successful at something is not about beating others, but about stretching your personal limits. Danny has done BSB support races, superteens and more, and is currently in the Hottrax Motorsport Michelin Power Cup. His beloved mechanic Loz says this suits them to a T because it’s the highest level of club racing, they win races, have a great social life and always come away smiling – and all for a relatively low amount of money. Sounds good to me! We wish him well 🙂

Well whatever floats your boat the season is well and truly here and superbikes kicks off this weekend….so game on!

(*All pics and info about Jenny comes from her website.)

By the way, don’t forget that you can still vote in the poll, How bling can you go, and share just how devoted you are to blinging your bike.

Ride safe
Lil Miss Bump 🙂

Show me da bling!

These days when I wander through a bike shop admiring the objects of beauty – and no I’m not talking about the sales staff! I find the bikes appeal just as they are, with the possible exception of many exhausts. Why is it that exhausts just seem to get uglier and uglier these days? Ker..ching – Akrapovic designers/engineers must be in seventh heaven whenever a new set of wheels comes out and their beauty is marred only by the equally stunningly bad looking exhaust lol.

When he was shiny and new!
The virgin state!

When I bought my Fazer I thought he looked great as he was -even the cans or rather their external coat looked pretty nice. The fact that my hair dryer sounded louder was just a minor detail that could easily be cured by a nice set of Akrapovics.

As far as I could tell, that was all that was needed … yeah right 😉 If anyone had told me that I’d spend almost two and a half grand on parts alone I would have fallen on the floor laughing. Yet little by little it’s been necessary to my comfort, safety, and ok I’ll admit, down right vanity, to change a little thing here and a little thing there.

 

New seat, new cans, clear lenses, new plate, Scottoiler!

First it was the seat – and to be honest that was a necessity. There should be a law against manufacturers being allowed to classify a plank of wood covered in wafer thin sponge as a “seat”. I knew EXACTLY whenever I hit the 49miles mark on any route as the fidgeting from loss of sensation in my arse was excrutiating!! Make way for the BAGSTER comfort seat. Not only did this bad boy come with gel in all the right places, but I was enchanted to find I could choose from a variety of colours, trims and writing! Yep I was in seventh heaven – and my bum has always thanked me 🙂

Then I got tired of having to say a prayer every single time I braked…and nothing happened for what seemed like an eternity (ok maybe three seconds!) so braided hoses it was.

This was quickly followed by not one but three different changes to lights – first there were smoked lenses for the indicators, then I went for clear lenses and finally I decided that the actually size of the lights was something Dumbo would have been proud of and went for mini indicators! Temptation then followed when I happened to be at the NEC one year – and a company just happened to be bringing out tail lights with built-in indicators. Well how could a girl resist 🙂

Truly beauteous bits and pieces have made their way onto my baby including a colour coded hugger, belly pan, radiator cover and fender extender. Winter arrived and I got tired of the lack of cover from the standard screen and went for a PUIG touring screen, then as soon as winter was over, sought out a PUIG double bubble, first in black before preferring the light tinted one 🙂

I’d like to say it ended there but there are some things that a girl just cannot be expected to live without…and the icing on the cake has to be my heated gear – WHY should I be cold???, the Autocom system for my SatNav – well when you’re as geographically challenged as I am it’s a necessity! Of course a Scottoiler as I truly hate lubing the chain and the piece de resistance – a Stebel Nautilus Compact Air Horn!! At at 139 decibels and road legal compared to a usual motorbike horn of 110 decibels,  it CERTAINLY gets the attention of idiots who want to pull out in front of you lol 🙂 🙂

Bling is a girl’s best friend!

Final addition was a Baglux tank cover and a SHAD top plate and topbox – having already tried out two sets of panniers, five tailpacks, three magnetic tank bags and three bagster rucksacks – Well finding the right combination of luggage is vital 😉

And to think I almost forgot – I’ve got heated grips courtesy of my family 🙂 Does bling count when you haven’t paid out for it? Have I finally reached the end of my search for bling??? Hmmmmmm it’s definitely a case of wait and see!

It’s clear that I am not the only one afflicted by the need to personalise my pride and joy.  I got sent some pics by friends who are very proud of the changes they have made to their bikes and  I am pleased to be able to put some of them up on this site.

Saul’s baby – He knows how to treat an 18 yr old well with a new tail unit, cans and new paint
Mr G’s toy – Used to be fire engine red but now a sunny yellow 🙂
It’s not the size of your bling that counts! Here Perry has some superduper efficient dust caps that work tons better at keeping the air in your tyres!
Otherwise known as Jim’s R1! Had a red screen and still has a red co-ordinated chain!!

Why not share what you think about blinging your bike? Take part in the poll and let’s find out 🙂

Ride safe 🙂

 

 

You put your left foot down…or is it your right foot down!

There are few things in life that can strike fear into my heart – like realising I can’t find my eyebrow pencil, or that I’ve got the wrong shade of blue shoes on with my fave blue jumper. But as a biker there are definitely one or two things that are guaranteed to bring me out in a cold sweat – dimwitted bunnies who contentedly wait by the roadside until you are near them and then kamikaze-style leap out into your pathway, or adverse cambers that suddenly form exactly where you need to stop.

Not having been gifted with a left leg ten inches longer than the right one, in these circumstances I have been known to admit defeat, turn left and head off down the hill, which is of course completely in the opposite direction I want, to find a nice even place to turn around and come back!  AND all because I have never learnt to get my right foot down!

If, like me, you were taught left foot down, right foot on brake, and have been doing that for years, it seems alien to do it any other way – which explains why I once dropped my first bike – the GPZ, when I came to a T-junction, put my left leg out …. and kept going as the road wasn’t where it was supposed to be! Once past the point of no return I had no choice but to gently lay my bike down on the road as it sloped down the hill to the left, and slide out from under it, watched by the chuckling car driver behind me – oh the shame!

Lots of biker mates – both boys and girls, have been keen to give me the benefit of their experience, and lots of advice on how to do this. But if there’s one thing I know it’s how I learn, and how I face my fears. If  I can teach myself something then I’ll happily give it a go, but when there’s a distinct danger that I’ll end up under my wheels there’s no more stubborn a force on earth than me and I want a professional holding my hand all the way – explaining in great detail exactly why I need to do something and how.

I began by trying to teach myself but fed up with the traumatic attempts which seemed determined to end in tears, tantrums and new plastics for the bike! I opted for a return to my old bike training school and fell sobbing on the neck of my friend Peter.

A lesser man would have baulked at the task, but having been married for years, Peter is made of sterner stuff, and braved the tears and tantrums to spend a morning in the cold, rain and even hail,  talking and walking me through it. Realising just how nervous I was he even placed himself close by so that he could break my fall if I did ditch it – how’s that for service!

We started off with the first attempt which typically resulted in me grabbing the front brake and almost ditching the bike on its right side 😦

From there Peter decided baby steps were needed and we focussed on me getting two feet down like a fat duck coming into land 🙂 Strangely I very quickly dropped the habit of grabbing the front brake and went the other way – not actually braking hard enough and therefore not stopping where I intended to – eek!

Like a fat duck coming into land….

Then we moved onto stopping with right leg down – and that’s when the fun really started! WHY doesn’t ones foot tend to  get a message from ones brain??? I lost count of the number of times I’d stop and then realise the left foot had automatically come down d’oh!!

EVENTUALLY it started to happen – with no rhyme or reason to it, my right foot started to come down when requested – but the battle with the brakes continued and I’d occasionally end up dragging the right foot by one wheel length.

Then just to make things even more fun, Peter decided I needed to learn how to stop and start on the right foot – uphill. Oh bliss, oh joy! I discovered stopping wasn’t the hard part, it was starting again! Peter taught me to hold my front brake on with the first two fingers and roll on the throttle with the last two. But of course there’s just one teeny problem …. I have teeny hands and can’t reach the brake lever and work the throttle at the same time 🙂 Cue for more practice of my wrist action. Having done it uphill, of course I had to learn to do it downhill as well.

Well at the end of two hours I’d moved from a position of  left foot only,  grabbing front brake and almost ditching my bike, to being able to put my right foot down without a wobble 3 out of 5 times 🙂  🙂  My thanks go to my hero, Peter, who was calmness personified when faced with a mad bint armed with a motorcycle!!

And the right foot is finally down!!

Well 3 out of 5 isn’t bad going for this bird,  PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE…. that must be the key.

It’s a few days later and I still find that sometimes my brain and right foot don’t get the message and the left foot just comes out automatically, or there’s a little dragging of the right foot when it does come out, but it’s a big step change for me and  I will persevere in the knowledge that I’ll get there in the end.

Ride safe