“Mostly bags of water!”

If,  like me, you are a Star Trek fan, that should bring to mind a certain episode from the original series where an alien uses it to hail Kirk and his away team. Spock clarifies for the confused team that indeed the human body is mostly a bag of water. Which is no doubt why any biker with half a brain cell should go for good quality safety gear to protect the fragile vessel known as their body!

Maybe I just have a better memory than most but I clearly recall at CBT hearing just how few seconds it takes to wear your skin and muscles down to the bone when sliding along tarmac, and I most definitely remember the photos, which were enough to give anyone nightmares, of what happens to ankles when you don’t wear protective foot gear 😦

As if that wasn’t bad enough I then followed up the personal horror show with a BikeSafe session at the Ace Cafe where the coppers had some truly stomach churning tales of what happens if you land on your face…in an open face helmet, or worse – if you haven’t done the helmet straps up!

It’s because of nightmarish scenes like this, and a beloved attachment to my bod just the way it is (ok maybe with thinner thighs :-)) that I have always worn safety gear, and as the mileage has increased, the bikes have got bigger, and the pay cheques have allowed, I’ve increased my investment in the quality of my gear.

This was tried and tested back in 2007 when  I ended up under my bike on the M1, sliding along at about 40mph – ouch. Yet apart from some deep muscle injuries (and let’s not discuss the psychological trauma that makes me instantly suspicious of any young man who’s obviously just developing his first chest hairs and is armed with a corsa ;-)) I survived without breaking anything and with my skin intact.

Without a doubt this was down to my kit from GLF Accessories: an Arai, a full sized Ricochet back protector, gloves, good leathers with excellent Hein Gericke’s Hiprotec armour in and Daytona motorcycling boots. If  I had not had that kit on I would have been looking at serious skin grafts to my arms, legs and back, not to mention foot injuries from the weight of a bike on my ankle dragging me down the motorway. Mind you judging from the condition of the helmet I think my foot would have been the least of my worries.

So fast forward to 2011 and I find myself in a close relationship with tarmac again – see my post The End of an Era! – and yet again good safety gear has come into play. In particular the helmet, armour in both trousers and jacket and of course that all important back protector. If any ladies out there are considering what kind of gear to buy you could do a lot worse than Held motorcycle gear 🙂

Now I didn’t buy that gear – and more importantly wear it, thinking I was going to take up flying lessons! I bought and used it JUST IN CASE I had the misfortune to need it. Yet there is a contingent out there – namely youngsters, who feel that the tracksuit of invincibility will protect them lol! Clearly these are the young people who think pics and facts about the realities of injuries are just achieved through special effects. Even worse, is the older brigade – what is it with bikers who feel the need to wear trainers, ordinary jeans and even worse – NO GLOVES!!! Maybe they are on really good terms with their mums. After all it’s my belief that only a mum will be willing to wipe the bum of a hairy-arsed biker (sorry obviously not the ladies!), for the better part of a year, whilst your hands heal from skin grafts 🙂

And let’s not forget the “you don’t need safety gear if you ride properly” set, whose logic is about as bright an idea as a chocolate teapot. That’s like saying you shouldn’t carry a brolly because you invite it to rain. For heavens sake – THIS IS ENGLAND! It always rains – just as there are always numptys who won’t see you and consequently you end up as roadkill!

Thankfully there are lots of people who do see the point of good gear. Take Treacle –  a distracted new dad, overwrought by the sounds of his newborn wailing in the back of the car, pulls a u-turn without checking and sends her into the dirt. Good boots, helmet and jacket saved her from serious injury. She said: “No one buys the gear expecting to have to rely on it, but sometimes it clearly makes a difference between serious injury and something you can walk away from. I wouldn’t say it makes you feel invulnerable but I definitely do not feel as safe if I go out and then find out that I’ve not got my back protector in my jacket!”

Wearing protective bike gear may not save you and your skin from parting company or broken bones – but it definitely improves the odds in your favour. Whether textile or leather, it makes sense that it all makes a difference. I would never seek to preach to anyone (no really I wouldn’t :-)) but I would ask the question “do you have a high pain threshold?” cos the nurse is gonna want to take a stiff brush to you to get that “gravel rash” out! Or how about “are you the  family breadwinner and can you afford to be off work with avoidable injuries?”

If you can answer truthfully that the risk is worth it then fair play to you and I wish you well. Personally since the paramedics cut off my new jacket THAT I’D ONLY WORN FOUR TIMES (no I will not get upset cos it was the right thing to do ;-)) I’m going shopping…..hmmm what’s the latest colour this season for my jacket…….

Ride safe

Lil Miss Bump 🙂